Schadenfreude..?
"Forensic experts in Dortmund were defrosting the babies yesterday."
There's something you don't read every day. In airport-grade horror fiction perhaps, or maybe in Hillary's latest anti-Obama commercial, but rarely in serious journalism.
It seems that infanticide is becoming a major concern in Germany. In this latest incident, a young man rummaging around for a snack in his parents' freezer "stumbled across a bag which was open and through the opening he could see the head and the arm of a baby." This relieves my concerns regarding the unruly state of my own freezer - the scariest things in there are a quantity of bread-crusts voluminous enough to keep a group of park bench-sitting, bird-feeding old geezers* in business for many an idyllic weekday afternoon, and a chicken curry - circa 1992.
While this story relates to one gruesome incident, the problem of infanticide in Germany was first brought to my attention a few weeks ago, under the headline 'Germany Divided Over Baby Killings'. Since my usual process of assimilating new information is to read as little as possible and let my imagination fill in the blanks, I initially assumed that the story was that some babies were killed and a large proportion - enough for there to be deemed a 'division' in the populace - of Germans thought that this was a-OK.
(Is it a tragic reflection of some archaic German stereotype that I considered this a plausible explanation for the headline, or am I just a bit of a dick?)
But alas, my favorite headline of the year-to-date was soon altered to 'Germany Divided Over Baby Killings in the East.' The real, and somewhat more mundane, story is that there's more infanticide occurring in East Germany than in the West. Boo! More stories about the inherent evil of those goose-stepping krauts, please.
The moral of this latest story, I feel, is clear: If you're going to kill your babies, dispose of their bodies - don't preserve them in the freezer. OR, if you simply must freeze them, then hide their little corpses in a box of McCain's Frozen Steak Diane Dinner - no one with a conscience is going to touch that shit.
*Crisotunity Contest - What collective noun best describes park bench-sitting, bird-feeding old geezers..?
There's something you don't read every day. In airport-grade horror fiction perhaps, or maybe in Hillary's latest anti-Obama commercial, but rarely in serious journalism.
It seems that infanticide is becoming a major concern in Germany. In this latest incident, a young man rummaging around for a snack in his parents' freezer "stumbled across a bag which was open and through the opening he could see the head and the arm of a baby." This relieves my concerns regarding the unruly state of my own freezer - the scariest things in there are a quantity of bread-crusts voluminous enough to keep a group of park bench-sitting, bird-feeding old geezers* in business for many an idyllic weekday afternoon, and a chicken curry - circa 1992.
While this story relates to one gruesome incident, the problem of infanticide in Germany was first brought to my attention a few weeks ago, under the headline 'Germany Divided Over Baby Killings'. Since my usual process of assimilating new information is to read as little as possible and let my imagination fill in the blanks, I initially assumed that the story was that some babies were killed and a large proportion - enough for there to be deemed a 'division' in the populace - of Germans thought that this was a-OK.
(Is it a tragic reflection of some archaic German stereotype that I considered this a plausible explanation for the headline, or am I just a bit of a dick?)
But alas, my favorite headline of the year-to-date was soon altered to 'Germany Divided Over Baby Killings in the East.' The real, and somewhat more mundane, story is that there's more infanticide occurring in East Germany than in the West. Boo! More stories about the inherent evil of those goose-stepping krauts, please.
The moral of this latest story, I feel, is clear: If you're going to kill your babies, dispose of their bodies - don't preserve them in the freezer. OR, if you simply must freeze them, then hide their little corpses in a box of McCain's Frozen Steak Diane Dinner - no one with a conscience is going to touch that shit.
*Crisotunity Contest - What collective noun best describes park bench-sitting, bird-feeding old geezers..?
posted by Mr Crisotunity at 7:44 PM
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